Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
