He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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