Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
