so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
