when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
