# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
