Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
