This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
