On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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