When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize