I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
