Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am available for nakedness
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
