have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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