theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
