I'm really into asian looking animals
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
