I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
