so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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