Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
