dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
