Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
