As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
