Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
