My nipple is on Facebook.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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