Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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