Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize