I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You pole danced in your parka.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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