You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is Oprah even human
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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