this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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