Where did you get a picture of my penis
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
