Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market

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  (586): I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market http://tfl.nu/4otb
  Replies (1) Good night (920) Bad night (1017)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?

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  (202): Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded? http://tfl.nu/h9bc
  Replies (19) Good night (1999) Bad night (4031)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i should start naming my morning wood

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  great idea but wrong number

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  (910): i should start naming my morning wood (201): great idea but wrong number http://tfl.nu/1p5a
  Replies (24) Good night (8441) Bad night (1222)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"

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  (815): i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out" http://tfl.nu/k16a
  Replies (9) Good night (1594) Bad night (5515)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

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  (203): so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same http://tfl.nu/kiu0
  Replies (19) Good night (6216) Bad night (1100)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take

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  (469): Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take http://tfl.nu/rvcg
  Replies (13) Good night (2715) Bad night (1554)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.

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  (480): Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America. http://tfl.nu/1n6p
  Replies (17) Good night (5380) Bad night (775)
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  (951): View more from California

  I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.

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  (951): I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's. http://tfl.nu/x6q1
  Replies (18) Good night (3294) Bad night (1167)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.

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  (906): Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too. http://tfl.nu/qk1z
  Replies (10) Good night (1355) Bad night (817)
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  (949): View more from California

  i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.

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  (949): i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed. http://tfl.nu/mfiw
  Replies (7) Good night (925) Bad night (902)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes

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  (716): The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes http://tfl.nu/9ioy
  Replies (2) Good night (1219) Bad night (438)
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  (949): View more from California

  I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice

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  (949): I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice http://tfl.nu/cwbs
  Replies (11) Good night (1536) Bad night (709)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.

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  (727): Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird. http://tfl.nu/lyco
  Replies (0) Good night (766) Bad night (368)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.

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  (719): Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home. http://tfl.nu/lmo1
  Replies (3) Good night (427) Bad night (139)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.

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  (219): My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman. http://tfl.nu/tsai
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (203)

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