Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok