Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s