Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.

Fav 25 1626 2474
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(913): View more from Kansas

your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.

Fav 7 955 2016
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(516): View more from New York

Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I

Fav 54 5280 763
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!

Fav 13 4575 905
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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.

Fav 91 6300 1462
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(765): View more from Indiana

So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?

Fav 16 5288 1932
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(713): View more from Texas

His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.

Fav 3 2222 1660
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(716): View more from New York

Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening

Fav 4 537 748
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(513): View more from Ohio

I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.

Fav 1 156 69
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