Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Marry him

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(937): View more from Ohio

bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome

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(925): View more from California

Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.

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(319): View more from Iowa

This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses

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(708): View more from Illinois

Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.

(773): View more from Illinois

We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?

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(315): View more from New York

you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain

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(641): View more from Iowa

He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything

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