and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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