Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
