This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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