Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
