i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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