Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize