my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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