I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
