Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
