Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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