Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
