That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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