I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
