when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
