I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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