he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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