it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
