If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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