i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My ATM looks so different sober.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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