do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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