I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
