u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
