Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize