I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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