After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize