This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
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I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
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You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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