We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
