I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How's work?
Spinning.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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