wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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