I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
