Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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