Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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