I can't breathe out the right side of my face
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
