I wanna bring you to show and tell
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
