Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Someone shit on the floor
She announced her abortion via fbk
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
