do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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