apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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