Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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