i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
