so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
