Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
