I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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