This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
